13-YEAR-OLD WINS TEXT MESSAGING CHAMPIONSHIP [The Australian, with AFP, April 23, 2007] It’s a pursuit only for the fleet of thumb with a ruthless dedication to punctuation. And while competitive text-messaging may not have gained Olympic status, the hundreds of mostly teenagers who took part in the US championships in New York over the weekend could think of little but the $US25,000 ($29,900) prize money. About 250 challengers battled it out for a chance to take on the reigning West Coast champion, 21-year-old Eli Tirosh, for the title of US Texting Champion. Contestants had to stand with their hands behind their backs until a bell sounded and a message appeared on an overhead screen. The winner was judged on whoever's message -- checked for exact punctuation -- reached the judges first. The text tests ranged from "Faster than a speeding bullet ..." and "What we do in life echoes in eternity" to the less poetic but urgent "OMG, nd 2 talk asap," which (for those over 30) means "Oh my God, need to talk as soon as possible." The 250 competitors were quickly whittled down to eight semi-finalists, one of whom, Anne Finn, 24, of Allegany, New York, said the pressure became too much. "It was so nerve-racking. My hands started to shake. I couldn't get my apostrophe," she said. In the end, 13-year-old Morgan Pozgar faced off against Michael "Cheeser" Nguyen in the east coast final, with Pozgar slipping past her challenger to face west coast champion Tirosh, a law student from Los Angeles. "I just wasn't fast enough," said Nguyen, 23, an engineer from Pennsylvania. Asked how it felt to take second place, he was clearly disappointed: "I just got beaten by a teenage girl, but you know." Tirosh said she practised with her friend and trainer Amy, who threw out random words or symbols and even motivational Buddhist quotes. Wearing a satin boxing robe before her championship bout against Pozgar, she said success would come down to who could marry lightning speed with accuracy. "It's all about the thumb-work," she said. So dedicated is she to the art of the text message that Tirosh apparently unwittingly uses initial-phrases such as BTW (by the way), TTYL (talk to you later) and LOL (laughing out loud) in her normal speech. Pozgar said she trained by sending on average 8,000 text messages a month to her friends -- an astonishing rate of one every 5 1/2 minutes. She pays $US10 ($12) a month for an unlimited text package on her mobile phone. In a tense championship final, Tirosh seemed to have won after putting down her phone first, only for judges to rule she had made an $18,000-dollar typo in the lyrics to the Mary Poppins song Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. Pozgar, who wants to work in fashion, had no hesitation about how to spend her prize money -- $US10,000 for the east coast championship and $US15,000 for the national award. She was going to hit the stores in New York City. Phone in hand, no doubt.

Monks Brawl In Phnom Penh

BUDDHISM NOT ALWAYS A RELIGION OF PEACE

[Associated Press, April 20, 2007] Two opposing groups of Buddhist monks clashed in the streets of the Cambodian capital on Friday during a protest to demand religious freedom for their colleagues living across the border in southern Vietnam. Some 50 monks marched through Phnom Penh to voice their grievances over the alleged mistreatment by Vietnamese authorities against Cambodian Buddhist monks in the country. They marchers said they came from southern Vietnam. The protesters marched with banners demanding that Hanoi stop limiting religious freedom on ethnic Cambodians in southern Vietnam. "The Vietnamese authorities have forced many Cambodian monks there to defrock," said Lim Yuth, who took part in the march. "As a Khmer race, we must have the right to practice our faith." As the march made its way across the city Friday morning, another group of six monks confronted them outside a Buddhist temple. The groups clashed in a fist fight while some of the protesters also tossed water bottles at their opponents, witnesses said. One monk was injured in the brawl, witnesses said. It was not clear if the monks opposing the march were acting independently or under someone's orders. Hanoi only permits a handful of state-sponsored religious organistions to operate in Vietnam, which has led to clashes with some religious groups, including Buddhists. A large part of southern Vietnam, known in Cambodia as Kampuchea Krom, used to be part of Cambodia's mighty Khmer empire centuries ago and is still populated by many ethnic Cambodians.

Toby licks Debbie After Saving Her LIfe

[Associated Press, March 28, 2007] Toby, a 2-year-old golden retriever, saw his owner choking on a piece of fruit and began jumping up and down on the woman's chest. The dog's owner believes the dog was trying to perform the Heimlich maneouvre and saved her life. Debbie Parkhurst, 45, of Calvert, Maryland, told the Cecil Whig she was eating an apple at her home on Friday when a piece lodged in her throat. She attempted to perform the Heimlich manoeuvre on herself, but it didn't work. After she began beating on her chest, she said Toby noticed and got involved. "The next think I know, Toby's up on his hind feet and he's got his front paws on my shoulders," she recalled. "He pushed me to the ground, and once I was on my back, he began jumping up and down on my chest." That's when the apple dislodged and Toby started licking her face to keep her from passing out, she said. "I literally have paw print-shaped bruises on my chest. I'm still a little hoarse, but otherwise, I'm OK," Parkhurst said. "The doctor said I probably wouldn’t be here without Toby," said Parkhurst, a jewellery artist. "I keep looking at him and saying ‘you’re amazing.’"

ASIA'S WEALTHIEST WOMAN LEAVES ESTATE TO FENG SHUI MASTER [Reuters, April 20, 2007] The sole beneficiary of Hong Kong tycoon Nina Wang's multi-billion dollar fortune is her feng shui master, a legal notice published on Friday showed, paving the way for a likely legal battle with her family. "In her will dated 16 Oct 2006, the late Nina Wang bequeathed all her estate to Mr. Chan Chun-chuen," her lawyer said in a notice published in several local newspapers on Friday. Little is known about Chan, whom the local media has reported as Wang's feng shui master or fortune teller and who once studied medicine in Canada. Nicknamed "little sweetie" for her braided pigtails, mini-skirts and giggly persona, Wang, 69, died this month from cancer. She was Asia's richest woman. Her life was touched by tragedy in 1990 when her husband Teddy Wang was abducted and never seen alive again. Later she stirred controversy by waging a legal war against her father-in-law, Wang Din-shin to secure her husband's billions even though he had not yet been confirmed dead. Wang won the eight-year legal battle in 2005, securing full control of the estate and of Hong Kong's largest private property developer, Chinachem group, in a probate saga that captivated the city of 7 million with tales of illicit affairs. A source earlier told Reuters that Chan was the sole beneficiary and that all of Wang's estate, including that of her husband "gets paid on in sequence" to him. The decision by Wang to leave her vast wealth in the hands of a single outsider, while shunning her family, is a potential bombshell and is now almost certain to spark a protracted legal battle with her family. Wang's family has already lodged an application in court to claim its right to the inheritance, the South China Morning Post reported on Friday. Media reports had suggested Wang, who had no children, had drafted a will in 2002 pledging much of her wealth to charity. A press conference will be held by Wang's lawyer on Friday that could clarify Wang's relationship to Chan, and give clues as to why she left her entire fortune to him. Wang, who was ranked the 154th richest person in the world by Forbes magazine last year, was known for her eccentricities, including her self-professed stinginess -- saying she only spent a modest HK$3,000 (US$380) a month on shopping and necessities, sometimes flashing her bargain buys to the media. A lavish funeral was held for Wang on Wednesday that was attended by a string of tycoons and Hong Kong's political elite. Picture Caption: Nina Wang (L) and Chan Chun-chuen are seen in this undated handout provided by Jonathan Midgley of Haldanes, the representative lawyer of Chan.

Jose de Jesus Miranda

[Reuters, April 16, 2007] Three Central American governments have banned a man claiming to be the Antichrist from entering their countries, outraged by his inflammatory preaching against the Catholic Church and organized religion. El Salvador, Honduras and Guatemala have banned Jose de Jesus Miranda, who heads a cult-like movement with sermons televised from Miami to dozens of mostly Latin American nations and wants to join followers at a rally next week in Guatemala. A former heroin addict who was briefly imprisoned as a youth in his native Puerto Rico, Miranda, 60, talks openly in a video on his Web site about how he loved cocaine and dreamed of working in a Colombian drug lab. He has the number 666 identifying the Antichrist tattooed on his arm but says he is Jesus Christ reborn on Earth, arguing Saint Paul's teachings show this is what Antichrist means. He says other priests are "faggots," and makes fun of Holy Week customs in Latin America, calling heavy statues of Jesus that Catholics parade though streets ‘little dolls.’ "The pope should be ashamed," shouts Miranda in Spanish into a microphone. "He should wear pants like a man. He should tell the truth and stop teaching shit." Tony Saca, the president of strongly Catholic El Salvador, barred Miranda from entering the country in March, describing him as "a danger to mental health." Miranda said the country would suffer an earthquake because of the decision. "It's the new Inquisition," said Carlos Cestero, Miranda's right-hand man, known as the 'Bishop as Bishops.' "These small nations are clearly puppets of the Catholic Church," he said. Central America, especially Guatemala, has seen a surge in converts to a variety of Christian churches in recent decades. In Guatemala, for instance, about 40 percent of the population now belong to non-Catholic Christian churches. Miranda's ministry began in 1986 in a Miami warehouse. He says it has congregations in over 20 countries, mostly in Latin America. It counts with its own 24-hour radio and TV station. In one video, the leader of the "Growing in Grace" church, sporting slicked hair, tailored suits and gold chains, rolls up his sleeves to reveal the number 666 tattooed on his forearm. Hundreds of followers have now tattooed themselves with the number saying it is a symbol of love and not the sign of Satan. They say there is no devil, no hell and no such thing as sin. The ministry has no formal membership system, but church representatives say his television audience numbers in the millions, bringing multi-million dollar donations. Some of his more generous followers have given him businesses, luxury cars, jewels and opulent houses in Houston and Miami Beach. Detractors say Miranda is not God resurrected but a dangerous cult leader. One evangelical preacher in El Salvador called him a "megalomaniac" and likened him to Jim Jones, who led 900 followers into a mass suicide-murder in 1978. Miranda's devotees plan to attend the rally in Guatemala on April 21 and 22, coinciding with his 61st birthday. Visit the website: GROWING IN GRACE

SUDANESE MAN FORCED TO MARRY HIS GOAT "LOVER"

[SMH, March 27, 2007] It may be a year old, but this strange-but-apparently-true story was rating the best read on the BBC's website yesterday. A Sudanese man has been forced to "marry" a goat after its owner busted him having a midnight sex session with the animal, media reports say. The goat's new "groom," a Mr Tombe, was ordered to pay a dowry of 15,000 ($62) Sudanese dinars to its owner, Mr Alifi, by a council of elders, the BBC said. "We have given him the goat, and as far as we know they are still together," Mr Alifi reportedly told the Juba Post newspaper. Mr Alifi, of Hai Malakal in Upper Nile State, told the newspaper he rumbled Mr Tombe after hearing a loud noise about midnight on February 13. He hurried outside to find Mr Tombe with his goat. "When I asked him: 'What are you doing there?' he fell off the back of the goat, so I captured and tied him up," he said. The council elders were called in to rule on the case, Mr Alifi said. "They said I should not take him to the police, but rather let him pay a dowry for my goat because he used it as his wife," he said.

HEIFER OBJECTS TO SEXUAL ADVANCES

[Kampuchea Thmey Daily in Phnom Penh, Cambodia, April 19, 2007] An elderly Cambodian who apparently was trying to get too intimate with a heifer was kicked to death by the young cow, local media quoted police and villagers as saying. Khmer-language daily Kampuchea Thmey quoted authorities as saying that Ta Sam, 67, of south-western Svay Rieng province had been divorced for just 10 days when his sexual urge apparently overcame him during the night. Sounds of a scuffle caused the man's grandson to investigate. He found Sam's naked body lying under the frightened cow with injuries to his head and genital area consistent with being kicked by the animal, the paper reported. Police concluded he had died while trying to have sex with the heifer, the paper said.

SEVENTY SEVEN SHEEP [Associated Press, March 29, 2007] An American who kept 77 sheep in his suburban home faces 30 charges of animal cruelty. Some had been found grazing on artificial flowers at the town's cemetery. Some were walking on their knees because their hooves had never been trimmed, causing infections, said veterinarian Kelli Ferris, who examined the flock. David Watts, 47, was being held at the Wake County jail in Apex, North Carolina, in lieu of $US 12,000 ($A 14,900) bail following a court appearance. A judge denied a request to release him pending trial. Watts surrendered the flock to animal control officers on Monday after police found some sheep grazing on artificial flowers in the town cemetery in Apex, a suburb of Raleigh. Thirty of the sheep were euthanised because of various health problems. In addition, sheep bones and carcasses were found in Watts' yard. Watts kept some of the younger sheep on the ground floor of his house and kept the others in pens in the yard, authorities said. Watts denies abusing the animals. He told The News & Observer of Raleigh that he was overwhelmed by the number of lambs born this year. Watts, who said he has raised sheep for a decade, called the animals "relaxing to be around." "It's like in Florida, you can swim with the dolphins. If you can get sheep to follow you, it might be a similar experience."

PANDA WATCHES VIDEOS TO LEARN HOW TO MATE

[Associated Press, March 27, 2007] Chuang Chuang the panda has been spending his days in front of a television watching panda porn. Authorities at the Chiang Mai Zoo in northern Thailand hope the images will encourage him to mate with his partner, Lin Hui, and serve as an instructional lesson in how to do it right. So far, it's been a tough sell, the zoo's chief veterinarian, Kanika Limtrakul, said today. "Chuang Chuang seems indifferent to the videos, he has no reaction to what he's seeing on TV," Kanika said. "But, we're continuing to show him videos and hoping they will leave an impression." Everyday for the past week, Chuang Chuang has been taken from his outdoor environment of rocks and trees to an indoor cage set up in front of a big screen television. Animal experts then put on a DVD that shows pandas mating. At first, they kept the sound off but noticed that the images alone were not grabbing Chuang Chuang's attention, so they turned the volume up, said Prasertsak Buntrakoonpoontawee, head of the zoo's panda project. "Before he might have been clumsy and not known how to approach and react to a female panda. Now he will remember and imitate the video," Prasertsak said. The exercise will continue for about another week. Then Chuang Chuang will be reunited with his partner. Zoo officials say the two pandas have been kept separate since late last year as part of efforts to spark some romance between them. Chuang Chuang was recently put on a strict diet because zoo officials said he was too heavy to mate. The diet trimmed him down from 150 kilograms to 142 kilograms. Thailand rented 6-year-old Chuang Chuang and 5-year-old Lin Hui from China for $US 250,000 ($AU 309,157) in October 2003 for 10 years. They are expected to generate millions of dollars in revenue from Thai and foreign tourists. There are as few as 1,600 giant pandas in the mountain forests of central China, according to the zoo. An additional 120 are in Chinese breeding facilities and zoos, and about 20 live in zoos outside China.

CAT SAVED FAMILY FROM CARBON MONOXIDE POISONING

[Associated Press, April 6, 2007] A cat helped spare a family in the US state of Indiana from death by carbon monoxide poisoning by jumping on the bed and meowing wildly as fumes filled the home, the owners said. Eric and Cathy Keesling said their 14-year-old cat, Winnie, played a crucial role in saving their lives on March 24 after a petrol-powered water pump in their basement caused the odourless, but deadly, gas to build up. About 1am, the domestic shorthair began nudging Cathy's ear and meowing loudly. "It was a crazy meow, almost like she was screaming," said Cathy, who hesitated to get up until Winnie's wailing and jumping persisted. When she finally climbed from bed, she realised she was nauseous and dizzy and couldn't awaken her husband. Because he had undergone minor neck surgery the previous day, she decided to call 911, but was so disoriented she had trouble dialling. Paramedics found the couple's 14-year-old son, Michael, unconscious on the floor near his bedroom. The Keeslings were taken from the home in oxygen masks, treated for carbon monoxide poisoning and soon recovered. Cathy Keesling said Winnie acted similarly last summer when tornadoes tore through the area, 72 kilometres east of Indianapolis. "I really believe cats can sense these kind of things," she said.

STEALING CARS FOR THE PETROL

[Reuters, Yangon, April 10, 2007] A serial car thief in Myanmar who stole 11 vehicles in six months was only after the fuel, which is severely rationed in the military-run former Burma, a police source said on Tuesday. Police caught Maung Myo Win red-handed last month as he was trying to climb into a minivan in downtown Yangon, the semi-official Myanmar-language Crime Journal reported. Under questioning, it emerged he had been involved in at least 10 other vehicle thefts in which the cars were left in another part of the capital with empty fuel tanks. "As far as I know, he just stole the petrol," said a policeman, who requested anonymity. Private car owners in the south east Asian nation, which has been under military rule for 45 years, are allowed to buy 60 gallons of fuel a month at 1,500 kyat ($1.22 at black market rates) per gallon from state-owned filling stations. If they need more, they have to resort to the black market, where petrol is currently selling at about 4,200 kyat a gallon.